Friday, January 4, 2013

My ex never discusses anything with me. He just demands or tells me how he wants things to happen

Q: My ex never discusses anything with me. He just demands or tells me how he wants it to happen. As far as I am concerned he is not entitled to do so. He has to discuss matters with me. The courtorder states that I have the final decision. In this case as an example our child needs a phone. He decides that he will buy the phone and that I am responsable for the rest. Is this correct. This is part of the multitute of run ins we are having. I am presently speaking to him as little as possible. I do not like the fact that he "lays down the law", so to say. We have shared custody of our 11 year old child who is living with me. In how far can he demand what the childsupport he pays is used for? Can you specify and list what commonly child support is used for? I have always kept the additional expenses such as summer camp and sports etc to a minimum. In fact I do a lot of research and have found the least expensive sulutions. I have saved him hundreds and hundreds of dollars. Also he is suppose to pay me reembursements within a month but makes me wait months and months. It is now december and he still owes me from August. It is exhausting and time consuming not to mention costing money to take him to cours and is it evenworth it to take him to court over this?. He pays the child support on time as he knows this is mandated by law, but he is basically doing whatever he feels like doing with total disregard of me as far as paying me back the additonal expenses in a timely manner.
Please advice me on this.

A: David's Answer: Basic child support is usually intended to cover basic living expenses of the child, such as housing, utilities and clothing. It is important to note, however, that the order will almost never specify which expenses it is intended to cover - it will only specify an amount based upon a % of his income. There are also mandatory add-ons to the basic level of support: unreimbursed child care, unreimbursed health care & unreimbursed educational expenses. That said, you did not specify whether you have a child support order - do you? If not, I'd highly suggest to file a petition to resolve the matter. If you do, perhaps its time to revisit the issue of support (especially if its been more than 3 years since the last order was set).  -- David Bliven, Bronx Child Support lawyer (

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